Bangkok, Thailand

(part 2)

January 13th, 2016

After a wicked workout with Mike and Jess in the sauna that is Bangkok, I grabbed my pack and jumped in a cab headed for my hostel near Khanosan road, the biggest party street in Bangkok. It’s where they filmed the Hangover sequel, when Stu gets a face tattoo and hooks up with a ladyboy. Yea… that street.

As soon as I jumped out of the cab, I realized how different this part of town was compared to Siam where Mike works. Siam is the residential/corporate downtown area, while this is considered the old city. It was dirty, grimy, smelly, crumbling, filthy, loud, smog-filled… my kinda place! I couldn’t check into my hostel yet, so I walked down Khaosan to grab a beer. I’ve been to a lot of backpacker destinations in the world, but this is the undoubtedly backpacker Mecca of planet earth. I’ve never seen so many dreadlocks and Bob Marley tank tops. I posted up at a bar and just watched countless Westerners from Germany, the Netherlands, Canada, Australia, etc. walking down the street, sun burnt, drunk and/or hangover, buying silly souvenirs while shoveling plates of insects into their mouths. I can’t talk however… more on that later…

I dropped off my pack and decided to walk the 30 minutes to some of the temples along the river. I had set out to find beauty, but was instead faced with the unfortunate poverty of Bangkok. People were lining the streets trying to sell what most of us would consider rubbish. Keyboards missing keys, dented and rusted cans of food, soiled clothes, piles of antiquated power cords, soot-covered children’s toys, and basically anything you or I would just discard as junk. Many of the individuals selling these items were passed out in dingy lawn chairs, likely victims of the oppressive heat. I knew that my privilege would be on full display on this trip. I imagine I will experience a lot of poverty on this journey, the likes of which are hard for me to understand or comprehend, but it’s still so incredibly eye-opening and humbling. We take so much for granted being born in the United States. I may not have much in the way of monetary wealth, being a recent PhD graduate and all, but being “poor” in America is exponentially better than being poor in other parts of the world.

I arrived at the Royal Palace, but was immediately enveloped in a sea of tourists. Swarms of them just kept coming off buses, rushing to the front gate and wielding selfie sticks like swords. It was maddening. I pushed my way through, but security would not let me pass because I was wearing shorts. You must wear full-length pants to enter, a sign of respect.

I left the palace and walked across the street to a small temple that was open to the public. I entered and saw dozens of people worshipping and praying to a golden tube. Not an image of Buddha or anything, but a 10-foot-tall golden cylinder. As someone who is completely ignorant to the Buddhist religion, I was naturally confused. But their devout worship was beautiful, and I look forward to learning more of this religion of peace. I paid 20 baht for a gorgeous flower offering and wanted to keep it, but I’m pretty sure it’s frowned upon and bad karma. I didn’t know exactly what to do with it, so I left it at the base of the golden tube.

I grabbed a tuk tuk back to Khaosan for dinner: pad thai, pork and basil, and a giant beer. It was mouth-wateringly delicious. I checked back into the hostel with the intention of taking an hour nap and meeting some of my hostel mates, but I was so dead from the gym and Bangkok exploring, I accidentally slept until midnight. FUCK! But I was intent on seeing Khaosan at night. So, I walked down and was shocked to see how different it was in the evening. Absolute bedlam. Basically the Las Vegas strip in Thailand. Every vice you could imagine at your disposal. Booze, drugs, strippers, Thai massages, souvenir t-shirts, little fish that eat the dead skin off your feet, people selling tarantulas on a stick, and even little girls selling balloons of nitrous. There were thousands of tourists plunging into the madness, and I threw myself into it. Every five feet, I was accosted by a very aggressive local trying to sell me something. Anything. From tazers to beard shavers, prostitutes to chicken wings. It actually gets a bit annoying; you have to sternly shake your head and say NO or they will follow you for a block. I understand this is how the feed their family. But bro, I’m wearing a tank top and sandals… do I really look like I want to be fitted for a custom suit right now?

I found a cool Indian restaurant and ordered some amazing garlic naan bread and more beer (obviously). I just sat back and enjoyed the madness with a light buzz. Tonight would not be my night to get insane. I was saving my energy for the next night. I indulged in a $4 foot massage (while rocking my elephant pants), enjoyed some badass live Thai bands that were singing Brazilian rock music of all things, and headed back to my hostel, which I have come to fall in love with. It’s two blocks back from the insanity, and looks totally unassuming from the outside. But inside, it’s clean, contemporary, well decorated, cold with delicious air conditioner which you really come to appreciate here, and my room was probably the best hostel room I’ve ever stayed in. My bed was massive, with a privacy curtain, private lamps and outlets, storage locker, and a freaking chandelier. Simple things like this go a long way to impress when you’re backpacking. I highly recommend Suneta Hostel for anyone coming to Bangkok.

The next morning, I headed down to the hostel common room to indulge in the free breakfast, and met Mitchell, a hilarious hippie pot farmer from Oregon, and Emily, a delightful Brit. We were all dead set on heading back to the temples as early as possible today to avoid the sea of tourists. We ended up being the first ones in the gates, and had the Royal Palace complex to ourselves. What I saw defies explanation. This was the single most beautiful, elaborate, ornate, luxurious place I’ve ever seen. I’ve been to Versailles in France, and this place is exponentially more beautiful. I was in full tourist mode taking dozens of photos… I couldn’t help it. Temple after temple, wat after wat… The beauty just kept coming. I mean there are literally hundreds of structures on this land, each more impressive than the last. Every inch of every building completely gilded in gold. Architecture and building aesthetics unrivaled anywhere in the world. When we finally entered the main wat that houses the most holy icon of Buddhism in Thailand, the emerald Buddha, my jaw hit the floor. I had seen grainy photos of it online before, because you can’t take pictures of it (and honestly the emerald Buddha itself looks like a tiny Yoda statue), but the mountain of gold relics 50 feet high below it were beyond belief. I’m serious when I say it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

We spent several hours at the Palace, then headed for Wat Pho where the reclining Buddha is located. This experience was akin to when I first laid eyes upon Michelangelo’s sculpture of David in Florence… truly shocking. Again, I had seen pictures. Nothing prepares you for when you walk into the temple and see a four story tall, 150 foot long golden Buddha statue. I was speechless. On the back of the statue, you buy a little jar of coins, and walk down a line of roughly 100 tin pots, dropping a coin in each. Each pot gives you more and more good karma in life.

Mitchell and I cleaned up and met with Jess and Samson at my hostel. It was time. It was time to rage on Khaosan. This would be one for the record books. We went straight to the first bar we saw and I ordered a bucket of long island iced tea. I downed the thing with a furious rage. Some lady came up to us selling bracelets with ridiculous sayings. I waved her away, but then took a second to read them. They were so lude and absurd, I had to buy one. I settled on “I heart pussy salad” which I have absolutely no idea what it means, but gave me at least ten minutes of hysterical laughter. Next up to accost us was the guy selling all sorts of insects for ingestion. Fuck it, give me the scorpion. I shoved the whole thing in my mouth, chewed vigorously, and was astonished to find it tastes exactly like beef jerky. Turns out I love scorpion!

We continued down Khaosan, hitting bar after bar, crushing bucket after bucket. It was getting out of control. Me and Samson were shotgunning beers in the middle of traffic. We were pouring shots down our throats. Someone handed me a neon green funnel at one point, which I obviously filled with a Chang beer.

The honest truth is, I don’t remember much after this. I remember there was an epic amount of emo bro love, and I vividly remember the goodbye. Mike and I gave the lamest hug ever in the middle of Khaosan, we told each other we loved each other, and we walked off in opposite directions. I was legitimately depressed. This had easily been the best night in Asia so far, and he and Jess had been so accommodating to me. I love traveling the world solo, but having your boy with you in Thailand is such an amazing feeling. I cannot thank you both enough for the memories.

I woke up this morning annihilated. I mean my entire existence hurt. I felt like I had fallen out of a plane without a parachute and survived. Bangkok had chewed me up and spit me out for a second time. I checked out of my hostel and had breakfast when I saw Mitchell again. We met two sweet girls from Chicago and went to lunch, somehow finding the energy to drink more beers and mojitos to try to chase away our hangovers. I was laughing because I was sitting at the exact same bar we had been at the night before, which basically feels like a million years ago already…

I’m ten days into my trip and I’ve already made enough memories to satisfy me for a lifetime. The crazy fact is I’m just getting started. I have 78 days left! WTF! I am loving every second of this journey, and it is exactly what I needed to reset my brain after grad school. I just downed another beer in my hostel, and now I will head to the train station for my overnight train to Chiang Mai. I am beyond stoked for this destination, because so far, I’ve just been in massive cities. Chiang Mai is in the mountains of northern Thailand, and I have a bunch of outdoor excursions planned. Wait till you see what I end up doing Saturday ;)

Bangkok… you won this round. You’re an evil bitch. I’ll be back in a month for my revenge.

-Batty