Corfu, Greece
(part 1)
June 25th, 2010
Well this blog is going to be a tad difficult to write in retrospect, considering I can barely remember anything from the insane party that is Corfu. But luckily, I was smart enough to get a few pictures so I think I may just be able to piece together the past four days.
After arriving at the Pink Palace, one of the top-rated party hostels on earth, I realized sleep was not an option. If I took a nap, I’d be out for an entire day. So, I headed down to breakfast and met up with Cammy again. She invited me to lunch on the beach, and we met up with the rest her crew: Krystie, Monika, Miguel, Pat, Matt, Evan, and Kyle. For hours we soaked up the gorgeous Greek sun while enjoying cold beers and stuffed olive leaves.
However, a big storm was rolling in off the horizon towards us, so we high-tailed it back up the mountain to the hostel. The place was getting pretty rowdy at the bar, so we joined the fun. Once Kyle saw my chugging abilities, he pretty much begged me the rest of the night to slam beer after beer to the delight of bystanders (I’m blaming my raging hangover on you!)
Eventually, half the crew had to catch a bus to the port for their ferry to Croatia, so Matt, Miguel and I saw them off with hugs and ouzo shots. It was great meeting you guys, and get home safe Krystie! We kicked the crap out of Europe! I have absolutely no idea what time I threw in the towel, but the sun was rising when I finally stumbled into my room.
At around 7 am, an incessant sound woke me up, akin to a wailing ambulance siren. What the hell is going on?? In the pitch-black room, I realized it was some goofy Greek phone ringing. I answered it… “Umm, what the…?”
“Good morning sir… this is your wakeup call”
“Uh yea, I assure you, I did not request a wakeup call at 7 am”
“Sir, is your name Matt?”
“Yes, but I haven’t slept in three days and I did not request a wakeup call!”
“Sir, it appears your roommate’s name is Matt too. You should wake him up. Goodbye.”
In my delirium I had forgotten Matt was also staying in my room. Thanks for the wakeup call bro! I still can’t believe you caught that ferry. A few hours later I was awoken again by the receptionist letting in my new roomie, John. Since this was the first night in about a month that I had slept more than five hours, I figured that amount would suffice and it was time to start partying! We headed to the bar and met Pat and his cohort of missionary med school students. They were watching the British soccer match, but the American game was on at the same time and the hostel did not have it playing. So we all hurried down the mountain to a sports bar to catch our boys playing Algeria. We were all so frustrated that the Americans could not score with so many opportunities, but when they finally did at 91 minutes, we went INSANE! Tequila shots for all! After the game, we headed back up to the hostel because there was a theme party for the night; a cross dressing party. Oh boy.
I met up with John again, and met two hilarious Canadian girls, Maxine and Sophie, who were busy affixing Quebec temporary tattoos to their faces using beer in place of water. For what reason you ask? Well it was apparently Quebec day, and this holiday is an excuse to get drunk. Awesome! Give me a Quebec flag/heart tattoo on my face too!
At dinner, we decided that we would dress each other for the party. The girls were easy as shit; I gave them both a pair of khaki pants with some T-shirts and one of my hats. Now my turn… I knew I was in trouble when Sophie broke out her makeup kit. They gave me a long, white flowing dress with some feathery earrings and a scarf, then for added effect, threw on some blush and doused me with perfume. A fine woman I would make!
At first, the overwhelming embarrassment of being in a dress was daunting, but when we went into the club and I saw dozens of other dudes totally decked out in dresses, I could only laugh and enjoy the moment!
First there was a flip cup tournament, and our team name was the “Lady Boys”. It consisted of myself, Maxine, Sophie, Chris, Miguel, Jen, Robyn, and Leigh. Needless to say we did not perform very well despite the enormous leads I afforded our team with my chugging to start the contest! After everyone lost interest in flip cup, we partied for hours, with everyone dancing like crazy on the dance floor. Drinks were spilled, people fell left and right, and I even started a conga line with a bunch of British soldiers dressed as school girls. I have to say that despite being in a ridiculous dress, this may have been the best night of the trip.
The next morning, Maxine and Sophie missed their ferry, so we all planned on hanging out at the beach. But then I lost them on the boardwalk and never found them again! I hope you girls eventually got to Ios okay. And I am definitely visiting you next year on Quebec day! Nevertheless, John and I went to the beach without the girls and bought beers from a small convenience store. The weather was overcast and dreary, but we went swimming anyway.
When I came back to shore, there was the cutest little black dog waiting for me. She wanted to play fetch, but not with a stick; this dog fetched pebbles! It was so adorable. She would know exactly which rock was the one I had launched across the beach, gingerly pick it up in her mouth, bring it back over to me and bury it. I kept getting bigger and bigger rocks to test her limits, and finally one rock that was bigger than her head proved to be the deal breaker. We named her “Athena”.
We headed back to the hostel and I met up with Cory and his wife Sonja. We pretty much just hung around the bar the entire night shooting the shit with some hammered Aussies and danced with the hilarious (and unbelievably flamboyant) Albanian bartender Ledi.
Once again, I have no idea when I went to bed, but when I woke up, I was on a mission. Today I would Quad Safari! You head out on 4-wheel ATV’s to explore the entire island of Corfu. They take you over pristine beaches, atop jagged mountain tops, and through off-road trails that are rough enough to shatter your teeth! For six hours I was in quad heaven! They are so fun to ride, and the trip around the island is stunning. You emerge from a forest path to see that you are on top of a mountain overlooking the ocean. Then you head down the other side of the mountain, with the throttle pinned back as far as it will go. These things can reach speeds in excess of 50 mph, and even though it’s on 4 wheels, it is still very squirrely to handle. A couple of times I thought I was going to flip it and/or lose control on one of the narrow mountain passes. There are no guard rails, and if you go over the side, it’s a few hundred-foot plunge to certain death. My kind of excursion! For the last 10 minutes of the trip, our guide Mike asked me if I wanted to be safari leader. He asked the wrong person. I had the entire group flying through some of the steepest turns at break neck speeds. Mike said that once you lead the safari, you must receive a woman’s name to become an official guide; I was dubbed Matilda. We headed inside and did post-quad shots of ouzo. An incredible day indeed.
Well I’m back at the hostel and if you can believe it, Batty the Party Machine is taking a chill night. I actually drank water at dinner! Cory, Sonja, Miguel, Chris and I are sitting back and watching the Chile vs Spain game. I think I will actually go to bed early tonight.
Tomorrow promises to be one of the craziest days of the trip. Mike the tour guide explained a drinking contest to me during the safari: a marathon is a grueling 26.2 mile run, and a marathon day at the Pink Palace is a grueling 26.2 hours of non-stop partying. Only 12 people accomplished the goal last year, and no one has done it in 2010. You wake up at 8 am, start drinking Tequila Sunrises at breakfast, get on the booze cruise at noon, spend the entire day getting wrecked on a boat while cliff jumping, snorkeling, and climbing through bat caves, then you return at 7 pm for happy hour, followed by the world famous toga party with plate smashing and ouzo circles, which lasts all night, rolling right into my cruise to Venice at 6 am, in which I will need to continue to drink until 10:12 am! If anyone can accomplish this feat, I assure you ladies and gentlemen… it is me! Opa!!
-Batty
